


Sour Sweets and Sweet Kisses

by Heartache_Handgrenade



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Candy, Fairy Tale Elements, First Kiss, M/M, Poison, True Love's Kiss, you know where this is going
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-11
Updated: 2017-10-11
Packaged: 2019-01-16 00:42:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12332067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Heartache_Handgrenade/pseuds/Heartache_Handgrenade
Summary: So this was an idea I just had for a while and I'm writing it at 2 in the morning so, it might suck. I own none of the characters or the shows plot except Emmie. All the characters belong to their respectful owners. Enjoy.





	Sour Sweets and Sweet Kisses

**Author's Note:**

> So this was an idea I just had for a while and I'm writing it at 2 in the morning so, it might suck. I own none of the characters or the shows plot except Emmie. All the characters belong to their respectful owners. Enjoy.

Dirk had always had a sweet tooth, this Todd knew. What Todd didn't know was that Dirk's desire for sweets could potentially cost him his life.

It had been a week since they had arrived in Wendimoor, almost two weeks since Todd and Farah had rescued Dirk from Blackwing. They had reunited with Amanda and Vogel a few days before and it went well, to say the least.

Todd had been expecting a fight, for Amanda to yell, or, even worse, to be met with silence. But Todd had been met with a strained hug and "I was worried about you guys." It was more than he was expecting.

After being welcomed to Wendimoor by Prince Panto and his band of knights, they were shown their own makeshift houses and treated to a feast. The days following were business. The prince had told them all about the Mage, the evil wizard and tyrant of Wendimoor, the feud between the Prince's family and a rivaling family, and the prophecy of Dirk saving Wendimoor. 

Since then, the prince and Dirk had been spending most the days together, trying to find ways to end the feud and to defeat the Mage. And, if Todd was being honest, that bothered him.

It's not like Todd had expected Dirk to reciprocate his feelings. Hell, he hadn't even said a word about it to Dirk. There just wasn't time, between Blackwing, being arrested, and having the sheriff and the deputy after them... there wasn't enough time to just talk. Even arriving in a place that wasn't supposed to be real hadn't been a safe haven for them. 

So by the end of the week, after Todd had a heard enough versions of the same battle strategies to last him a lifetime and then some, he was exhausted. And in his exhaustion, he didn't suspect anything unusual.  
\---------------------  
He didn't suspect that the candy apples on the table were anything but harmless. Especially since Dirk was diligently sucking on one of the sickeningly sweet candies along with Emmie, one of the natives of Wendimoor who had also been spending a lot of time with Vogel. Todd also didn't expect his conversation that day to possibly be his last with Dirk.  
\----------------------  
"I know you've basically been starving for two months, but that doesn't mean you get to pig out on candy for breakfast." Todd went to move to bowl away from Dirk, who had already eaten two of the candies, but Dirk pulled it closer.

"Oh Todd," Dirk smirked, " they're candy apples. I know people who eat cake for breakfast! I'm practically eating something half healthy!" Todd heaved an frustrated sigh.

"Just because it has the name of a fruit in it, doesn't mean it's healthy Dirk," Emmie said from her position on the counter. Dirk looked between the two and shrugged.

"I don't understand why you care about my health Todd," he said, "The universe doesn't care what happens to me. Why should you worry about something so small as my health?"

Todd doesn't know why, but something inside him snaps. "Don't," he says loud enough to make Dirk flinch. "Don't you EVER say that Dirk. You mean so much to us, t-to me! I can't imag- I don-" His voice trails off as he begins to realize what he's just implied.

The look on Dirk's face is indecipherable, but it's enough to make Todd turn and run out the door, even when Dirk and Emmie call out for him.  
\---------  
It's hours until Todd returns to find Emmie laying on the counter top. Todd thinks she's fallen sleep until he finds Dirk laying on the floor, his arm outstretched with a candy apple laying in his palm. Todd screams.  
\--------  
Everyone came. Farah, Amanda, the prince, even Vogel came to see what had happened. Farah crouched down next to Dirk and checked his pulse.

"He's alive," she said, "but his pulse is weak." Emmie and Dirk were moved from the kitchen to the prince's castle. There, they were placed under constant protection until a cure could be found. The candy apples, as it turned out, were laced with poison. 

This lasted for two weeks and during that time, Todd refused to eat or sleep. The prince allowed him to stay at the castle, so Todd watched over Dirk. He would talk to Dirk about how awful it had been those two months Dirk had been missing, how he had hoped that Dirk was okay, how he had dreams about rescuing Dirk. One even had him and Farah wearing a gorilla and giraffe masks and wielding crossbows.

He cried thinking about the times he thought Dirk was truly gone. The times he screamed himself raw either from a pararibulitus attack, grief, or both. Farah had been there to calm him during those times of hopelessness. Sometimes Todd didn't know how he would've gotten by without her.

It wasn't until after two weeks that they had the breakthrough they needed.  
\---------  
"It was The Mage," the prince said as he paced. He had them all gathered in his throne room as he paced back and forth between his throne and the doors. 

"How do you know it was him?" Amanda asked. 

"I had, you might say, an 'informant' that was more than willing to receive his own thirteen pieces of silver through some 'interrogation'." Amanda and Farah exchanged glances. Todd hadn't expected the pink-haired prince to be the violent type.

"So, what do we do?" Todd asked. "Did the 'informant' say anthying that could help us?" 

"He said that The Mage is very theatrical and that he loves fairytales." The prince looked around the room. "I don't understand what that means, I don't know what fairytales are." 

"That's because you live in one," Vogel murmured. Amanda gave him a half-smile. 

"So, if The Mage is playing out a fairytale," Farah stated, "then we just need to figure out which one."

"It's Snow White," Todd said, "the poisoned candy apples, the death-like sleep. All of it's the same." 

"And if he's playing it according to the story," Farah started, "then the only way to wake them up is-"

"True love's kiss." Amanda finished.

"Yeah."

"So we need to figure out who Dirk loves?" Vogel asked.

"Or who loves him," the prince said, "it shouldn't be that hard, right?" He was met with blank stares.

"None of us have known him for very long," Farah stated.

"Yeah," Amanda said, "I think the only one he's known for a while is Vogel."

"And I know he doesn't love me," Vogel said, "he doesn't even like me." The prince looked at Todd.

"What about you?" He asked. Todd felt numb. Dirk wouldn't love someone like him, could he? Dirk deserved someone like the prince himself. Brace, handsome, honest, pink-haired, everything Todd is not. 

Todd shakes his head. "I think it might be you," he says to the prince. "You've been spending a lot of time with him." The prince thinks for a minute.

"I'll admit, I've been, you might say, intruiged by him, and I've wondered how he feels. I could try." Todd feels sick hearing this but nods in agreement.

Soon, they're all standing in Dirks room with the prince crouched next to Dirk's side. He looks paler than what he did a few days ago, Todd thinks as the prince presses his lips to Dirk's. He deserves someone better than me, Todd thinks to himself. Someone he loves, he thinks as the prince pulls away.  
\------------  
Seconds bleed into minutes as the group waits for Dirk to wake up, but he doesn't.

The prince kisses Dirk again, and again, and again, but he eventually gives up after the fifth kiss. He turns to look at Todd.

"It's you," he says, but not unkindly. "It has to be you Todd." 

Todd shakes his head and turns to leave, only to find Amanda blocking the door.

"Amanda," he pleads, "please, he-" 

"I don't care what you think he deserves," she says angrily. "You're a better person because of him and I'll be DAMNED if you think that you can just walk away from someone who makes you that way. Someone who makes you better!

"You love him, and I know you're scared because you don't want to fuck up your friendship, but let me tell you, he loves you too. You know how I know? Because of the way he looks at you. The way he talks about you, the way he hopes that you truly are a good person. No one who just wants to be friends says that about someone they don't love." 

Todd stares at her as she tries to compose herself, tears falling down her face. She meets his eyes and pulls him in for a hug. It's the best damn hug he's received. 

"Please don't hurt him." She whisperes and Todd feels tears burning his eyes as he shakes his head.

"I won't," he promises as he pulls away to look at her one last time. She smiles and backs away as he turns towards Dirk. 

"Can I be alone with him?"

The prince nods as the others exit the room. He's the last to leave, closing the door behind them leaving Todd and Dirk alone.

Todd watches Dirk's face as he slowly walks to the bed and kneels beside it. He takes Dirk's hand and begins to speak.

"I know I wasn't the best person when we met. I mean, I threw a shoe at you," he smiles at the memory. "It's not the worst thing I've done but you did break into my apartment, so I'll call it even." Todd's smile vanishes as he continues.

"I was a liar, a thief, and an all around asshole who didn't care about anything or anyone but myself," he starts to cry as he continues, "things seemed hopeless and my life was dark. I was filled with rage and I knew I couldn't keep living like that. How could I?" He takes a deep breath and finishes. "That's when something I never expected happened, Dirk. I fell in love with you."

Todd presses his lips to Dirk's then. They're cold and chapped, but Todd can already feel a change as he kisses him and presses his lips harder against Dirk's.

He pulls away after while and presses their foreheads together, closing his eyes, waiting. He doesn't notice the color returning to Dirk's pale skin, or that his hair is returning to the vibrant auburn color, or the fact that his hands have begun twitching. Todd only notices when Dirk's back arches, Dirk gasping for air.

Todd lurches away from him, but only for a moment as he supports Dirk's head by putting one hand on the back of his neck and the other on the back of his head. Dirk gasps for air and opens his eyes.

"I knew it was you," he says in a voice that's barley above a whisper. It's probably from the disuse, but the way he looks at Todd tells him otherwise. Todd smiles down at him, tears falling onto Dirk's face to blend with his own. 

"I love you," Dirk whispers and Todd could almost faint. He pulls Dirk up and kisses him deeply as the door opens, but he couldn't care less who saw. Dirk loved him, that's all that mattered. 

After a few minutes of kissing, Dirk pulls away for air and Todd turns to see Amanda and Farah crying happy tears, Vogel smiling at them as he carries Emmie, who looks just as tired as Dirk, but just as happy.

"I say we give these two some time to rest for good," the prince said, "give them some time alone with those they love." Emmie waves as the prince leaves through the doors. Vogel follows, still carrying Emmie, along with Amanda, who hugs them both before leaving. Farah smiles and gives them each a hug before she leaves, closing the door behind her.

Todd feels Dirk shift in his arms and looks down to see Dirk watching him.

"What?" He asks. Dirk looks at him in awe.

"I just can't believe you felt that way, while I was gone and now." Todd blushes and looks away. Dirk kisses his neck and holds him close. "I felt the same way," he says quietly, "when I was trapped in there, they threatened to find you if I didn't try hard enough." Todd swallows and looks back at Dirk who has tears forming in his eyes. 

"I was always so worried that they would find you. I had nightmares constantly about it." Dirk squeezes his eyes shut and Todd wishes he could ease the pain that's written plainly on Dirk's face. So he kisses him. Slowly and deeply until Dirk is relaxed. 

Todd pushes Dirk down gently onto the bed and lays down along his back. 

"Get some rest," he says as he kisses Dirk's head, "I'll be here when you wake up." 

"Promise?" Todd kisses him again.

"I promise," he says. And with that, Dirk falls asleep with Todd next to him.

**Author's Note:**

> If enough people like it, I might do another chapter or a sequel. It depends. Leave comments or kudos but please be nice. This is my first fanfiction.  
> Update: I'm thinking of doing a fairytale series, but it might be too corny. Let me know what you think. Working on one right now.


End file.
